The Miller Family

Lucas turns 1

2011-04-04T13:37:00.003-05:00

Lucas turned 1!! I can hardly believe the time has flown already. I remember getting ready to go to the hospital to be induced, and so excited to find out what we were going to have. I have LOVED having my boy! Lucas is such a joy to have and such a happy baby.

For his birthday, we had our Oklahoma cousins come for a visit. It was wonderful to get to play with our cousins and enjoy his birthday with them. My sister Heidi had come a year ago, right after I had had Lucas to help me, and it was fun for her too to see the growth we'd made in a years time.

We had bubbles and presents, apple muffins, and good food. The kids were thrilled with the balloons more than anything.

Lucas is still not walking without holding onto something, but he can crawl with the best of them! He can get anywhere he wants to go! He has two bottom teeth, but that's it. His smile lights up the room and makes me smile. I look forward to all that the coming year has to offer.

Gracie turns 3

2011-02-21T05:16:00.005-06:00

So, for Gracie's birthday, Houston was expecting ice and snow! What a great present for her, since we so very rarely see that white stuff known to other parts of the country in winter as 'snow'. The schools were closed, there were rolling blackouts (thankfully not us), and in general, sheer panic usually reserved for hurricanes. We ended up not getting snow, but we got enough ice to cripple the town. But you do have to understand....Houston typically does NOT freeze, and our city is chock full of overpasses and bridges that make driving in icy conditions dangerous and literally deadly. By the way, there were over 800 accidents, and 2 fatalities caused by the weather.

So right before all the mess hit us, Gracie and I went and got our hair trimmed up. It was her 2nd hair cut ever, and she wasn't sure about it at first. We were the last clients of the day, so I was able to put Lucas' playpen up, and we camped out!

Ryan brought his PSP, but it didn't really last. He was so curious about so many things, that he just couldn't concentrate on his game.

Lucas was able to keep a good watch on us the whole time, and truly didn't mind being 'stuck' in his playpen. That was wonderful since I really didn't want him crawling around in all the hair.

I went first to show Gracie what getting a haircut was like, then she was all for it! She got up in the chair, and was ready!

For a treat after, we had a snack, and boy, was it a hit!

My beautiful girl has been such a joy! I loved spending this day with her, and she was soooo excited all. day. long!! Ryan and Lucas (in his own way) cheered her on all day as well, so it was a great family celebration.

We got home, and Daddy was able to get off work slightly early, so Gracie and I headed to the local nail salon for a mani/pedi.

She had to take her purse with her, just like Mama.

Gracie was absolutely enthralled with the lady painting her nails! It was soooo cute to watch her interact with them, and misunderstand their accent. One lady kept saying her nails were so pretty, but Gracie heard it (with the accent) as potty, I think.

The ladies were able to give her a gorgeous paint job, and put glitter sparkles in the nail polish, which was just PERFECT! Gracie was thrilled with it.

Then it was time to have our 'party' and we opened up a few presents from us, and shared our party with our cousins on the big tv! We have recently learned about skype, and it has been wonderful to get to 'see' my sister Betsy and all the kids, since we don't get to see them very often in person. All in all, it was a great day, and Gracie had a blast.

She is growing up so much, and has such a vocabulary! She is Ryan's biggest fan, but as also learned how to hold her own as well. She can pout, she can cry, and she has learned to stand up to Ryan when he tries to push her around too much. It has been a learning curve for me, but I am enjoying cultivating the best friendship and bond ever: the bond between siblings. Lucas is joining this as well, but he is still non-verbal. I LOVE listening to Ryan and Gracie's 'private' conversations!

I look forward to another year of growing and learning with her!

Ummm

2011-02-20T08:10:00.003-06:00

I didn't realize how much time is going by before I post anything. I have soooo many 'blogs on the brain', ones that I write, rewrite, edit, and place pics all in my head, but they never make it to production, I guess. I really thought I had posted something in January, but lo and behold, I am waaay behind!

Fun times

2010-12-16T18:15:00.004-06:00

Ryan has found a new way to haul around his light sabers.....
Who really wants to golf anyway?!

Last weekend we went up to Coldsprings, TX and enjoyed some time with family, and while there, the kids were introduced to the best toy ever....a little wheeled cart! It provided hours of entertainment as Ryan would ride it down the hill.....

Then Ryan would push Gracie back up the hill....

And then she would push him a little bit, just for good measure!

Of course, eventually there was the inevitable tumble off at pretty fast pace, so Ryan's arm ended up with a scrape (thankfully Gracie had lost interest at that point), and he was able to take it pretty good. Just a short time later, and he was back to playing on it all over again!

We had a wonderful time, and will probably play with it again next weekend, when we go for Christmas!

Running

2010-12-08T09:30:00.002-06:00

So, this is my third week of running. I started and was planning on running a block, walking a block, and working my way up to a mile. My first night, I ran a mile! Now I am up to 3 miles, and in an improved time. I am keeping a journal of all the specifics, but man am I proud of me!!!

Recap of October

2010-11-05T14:13:00.004-05:00

So I have failed miserably these last few years keeping up with the blog. Each day, I run a commentary in my head, a running essay I guess of all I want to say, but somehow, I never sit down to do it. All I can say is, I know I am not doing great, but I will try to do better (for my 3 fans out there!).

Bill had his birthday on the 24th, so of course we had to make it special. The kids had the best time picking out his presents. Bill was graced with a legos star wars set, a pair of astros shorts, and a laser level. Oh, and I finally sewed some silky pajama pants for him (though I still have to do the elastic). We tried to make the day all about Daddy, and I think we did ok.

The cake was another effort of love. The kids helped me make it, then we baked it, then Bill asked if I would take it out of the pan so we could ice it on all sides. Weeellll.....that resulted in half a cake. The kids helped me ice what we could, and Ryan decided that the spiderman candle was PERFECT for Daddy. Gracie was more than ready to 'help' him blow out his candle! We barely got through singing Happy Birthday (or Dirthday, to Gracie) before she was blowing!

Then Ryan got to 'help' Daddy put together his new lego star ship. This is where I have to say that I have married a wonderful man, and a great father. He went step by step and showed Ryan how to read the instructions and put it together. Bill is always trying to teach the kids new things, and in that, he does a much better job than me, I have to say! He is a GREAT teacher, and I am very proud to be his wife. Happy Birthday, Bill, hope it was good!

Then the countdown to trick or treating was on! Ryan kept us up to date on how many days we had left. When the day finally arrived, he was sooo excited!

Gracie was, well, um.....a princess lightening bug? She had a light in her cheeky bums, for the lightening bug, and I had gotten wings to wear, but she didn't want to wear them. Then I had gotten that skirt, and it came with the flower headband, and we HAD to wear that, along with our sparkly ruby red slippers. Soooo, this is what we got! Cute none the less!

Ryan was optimus prime. We just picked out of his dress up clothes, and there you go. He is still as awesome as ever!

Once we were done trick or treating, we set up in the drive and started handing out candy to everyone else. It was up to Ryan and Gracie to dole out the candy, and they did a GREAT job. One little girl (probably 3-4yr old) came up and wanted to touch Lucas. I was fine with it, so she poked him gently in the tummy, and then exclaimed, "LOOK!! He didn't even bite me!" I think she thought he was a real monkey! That was great. Seeing all the kids come through was fun, but now I must get on my soap box:

I am tired of the takers of our society. We had a lady come that was probably 50+yrs old, not dressed in costume, going around with a Wal-Mart bag, collecting candy. That's just not right. Same with the teenagers who came through either not dressed, or like my cosutme, that really wasn't a costume, more like a prop, and expect candy. If it hadn't been for Ryan and Gracie already having it in there bucket before they were fully to us, they would have been turned away. Go to the store and buy your own candy.

Anyway, all in all, we had a great time. Again, I will try to do better, but am not about to promise anything just yet!

Pumpkin Patch

2010-10-23T15:22:00.005-05:00

We had a great photo shoot, got to play on the playground, and then paint our pumpkins. It was a great day!

My little man

2010-09-28T09:58:00.003-05:00

Look who is 6 months old! Time is flying! Lucas can now roll over and uses it to the best of his abilities. He is sooo close to crawling, everything goes in his mouth, and he has finally found his 'voice'. I LOVE listening to him make all his noise!

Ryan turns 5

2010-07-14T05:29:00.004-05:00

Ryan had a Star Wars theme party. He absolutely LOVES star wars with Daddy. He knows all about them.

He enjoyed opening up presents, and was very grateful for every single one.

True to form, Daddy had to help with the transformer. Mommy knows a little bit, but Daddy is the one who can REALLY help.

Memaw came to stay with us for his party, and then spent a few more days with us. When it was time to go, she took my Ry Guy home with her. I miss him so much, but he has done great being away from home this long (a week).

Ryan has grown up so much in just the last year, I can't believe its already time for school this fall. He is so much fun to have around, I'm really gonna miss him when he goes.

Lucas at 3 months

2010-06-18T15:23:00.001-05:00

Update in pics

2010-06-18T15:14:00.003-05:00

Ryan graduated from pre-K in May and we went to his little graduation program. Gracie was sooooo excited she could barely contain herself. She had to keep 'reminding' Daddy that Ryan was up there.

Ryan was so proud of himself!

Gracie has started potty training, so thanks to my sister Heidi, she has been wearing her 'new' Dora underware. Some fit better than others. These like to ride a lil low, showing her best 'plumber' look!
And just because....the Force remains strong with us.

A year has gone....

2010-05-17T10:59:00.004-05:00

Since Gracie had her eyes chemically burned. We have come a loooong way since then, and am so grateful every day that she is 100% perfect and healed! Thank you, God for my little angel.

Isn't she such a ham?!!

Lucas at 1 month

2010-04-19T17:41:00.002-05:00

Such a cutie!

Lucas joins the family!

2010-04-09T16:29:00.004-05:00

The night before I was to be induced, I think I got a whole 45 minutes of sleep. This is me beyond exhausted, but sooo ready to get our baby here! Gracie has woken up about 45 min before my alarm was to go off (so its not like I was missing out on a ton of sleep anyway!) and had thrown up. Thankfully, she hadn't gotten much in her hair, but she got all of her bedding and her special bear. I cleaned her up a bit, got her in bed with Bill and started washing everything so she would have it in the morning. Nana was in charge in the morning, since we had to be at the hospital at 0500, and I was a little nervous how that might go. I knew Nana could handle it, but I didn't know if Gracie would be ok. Everything worked out just fine, thank goodness! Gracie took to Nana right away, and Ryan was great too. In this picture, I am 38 wks 4 days.

I had gotten my toes done about a week ago, and I loved the little flower design the lady had done. I wore socks the whole time, so its not like anyone saw my toes, but just in case...

Bill and I patiently waited for labor to start. Surprisingly, it took FOREVER!!! Ok, not really, but I was already 4, and lets face it, labor for the Wienands' clan doesn't take long! Pitocin was started at 0630, and I got up to the maximum of dosage before I started having contractions consistently 5 min. apart, and starting to be uncomfortable. They still were quite tolerable, but my doctor had come in, and wanted to see about breaking my water to get things rolling. Being the wimp that I am, I got my epidural first, and then she broke my water at 0859. I was only 5 cm, but had thinned out to 80% from 50%, but baby was still high. About 0930, I started feeling the baby's head coming down, so I had my nurse check me. I was about 8cm, with more cervix on my left side, so I turned to that side. About 10-15 min. later, it felt like the head was about to fall out. It wasn't quite yet, but it was time to push. I pushed a whole 4 times, and we were done!

ITS A BOY!!!! Lucas was born at 0958 with the cord around his neck 2 times! That's why he never dropped down until the very last minute. God was watching out for him!

He held his breath right at first, and it took him a minute to perk up. This 'old man' look reminds me sooo much of Ryan.

Lucas Aaron Miller weighed in at 8 lbs 4 oz, and was 21.75 inches long. Alot bigger than I had thought, I had guessed 7lbs 10 oz., and I thought that was even pushing it.

Bill was thrilled to have another boy! We both thought at the end that it would be a boy.

These are pictures taken by my friend while I was sleeping and Lucas was in the nursery. Isn't he a doll?!

My next post will hopefully be some more recent pics of Lucas, I promise I'm working on it!

Pregnancy pics

2010-04-07T10:13:00.005-05:00

Because I didn't post these regularly while I was pregnant, here are a few shots of me along the way....

8 wks

15 wks

25 wks

31 wks, I can no longer see my feet easily.

29 wks

37 wks

2010-03-15T11:38:00.004-05:00

Well, as this pregnancy draws to a close, let's see if I can wrap it up in one post! Each has had its own 'symptom' that has stood out more than the others. With Ryan, it was the extreme nausea, but I think I just learned how to deal with that better in the consequent pregnancies. Gracie was severe suprapubic pain, making it very difficult to turn side to side in bed, to walk, just about everything, especially at the end. With this one, it is definately insomnia! I still have a combination of all the other symptoms to a degree, but the one that stands out the most is the lack of sleep. I thought I knew about insomnia, but I truly had no idea. It is staying awake despite feeling exhausted, its restless leg, hot feet, its everything going on in your head, but unable to shut it all off. Its not thinking about anything and STILL not being able to sleep. You can be tired, but still not sleepy. SOOOO frustrating!

I also think I have been much more emotional with this pregnancy as well, most likely because of the insomnia. I've cried alot more, gotten my feelings hurt, and pretty much just carried my heart on my sleave. I'm so sorry to those that have had to hear me rant and rave. Give a few more months, and perhaps it won't be quite so bad! :)

This pregnancy has also flown by! There have been a few moments that seemed to drag, such as a particular rough bout of nausea/fatigue at the beginning, a few weeks of sore hips along with not sleeping, but in general, it has gone by very fast. I think its just the fact that with 2 other small children to care for, I haven't had time to contemplate this baby as much as the others. Don't get me wrong, I've dreamed about what this little one will look like, whether its a boy or a girl, light or dark hair, all of that. But I haven't gotten to dwell on it as much as Ryan's, or even Gracie's.

I will be induced on March 18th at 0500. This is a very big relief for me! Its not even meeting the baby that I am relieved for, though I am extremely excited to finally find out! I am relieved that I will no longer have to worry about delivering at home unassisted, or on the side of the road. I have never done a natural delivery, I've had an epidural both times, and yes, I plan on another. I rather enjoy my pain-free deliveries, but if I had to go without, I *think* I could do it. But I know that Bill is not thrilled with blood, tolerates the births at a hospital setting, but would probably have a very hard time if it was all on him, so to speak. With me being 4cm/50%/-2, I am rather scared that I will go soon and quickly, like we typically do in my family. I think I have a few more days, if I let nature takes its course, but I really don't think its much longer.

I will add more to this post as I think of it, perhaps in the future, perhaps in separate posts. I have pics to upload, but have already packed the camera, and would rather do all of that later, perhaps while I'm living it up in my nice hospital bed!

Guessing Game

2010-02-22T16:45:00.007-06:00

Ok, everybody, time to tell me what you think I'm having and when I will have it! I am 35 wks now, and the countdown is on. I have no true feelings one way or the other, but here are a few facts to throw in there to help with your predictions:

I have delivered both Ryan and Gracie when the moon was in the last quarter.
My due date is March 28.
I don't have a recent belly shot to show off the belly, but I will see what I can do. I DO know that baby is still carrying high and right out front.
I have gained the same amount of weight so far as with the other two, I just happened to have started at a little higher weight than before. Oops.

We have not scheduled an induction and have no idea when this might happen. So let's see who gets closest!
***********************************************************************************
Angela: March 9, girl
Emily: March 12, girl
Juilann: March 14, boy
Holly: March 14 , boy
Jesse: March 15, boy
Jennie: March 15, boy
Brandy: March 16, boy
Demi: March 17, boy
Jackie: March 17, boy
Bill: March 17, boy
Karen McNeal: March 18, girl
Tamika: March 18, boy
Daphne: March 18, girl
Marcie: March 19, boy
Karen : March 19, boy
Torri: March 20, girl
Sarah W.: March 20, girl
Sylvia: March 21, girl
Coco: March 21, boy
Sandy: March 22, boy
Joyce: March 24, girl
Lori: March 24, boy
Betsy: March 24, girl
Courtney Y.: March 25, boy
Nancy: March 25, girl
Carri: March 27, girl

Totals:
Boy:15
Girl: 11

Gracie

2010-02-05T07:31:00.003-06:00

Build-A-Bear

2010-01-31T17:39:00.007-06:00

We went to Build-A-Bear for Gracie's B-day, since she is soooo into bears right now. Her birthday isn't until Wed., but I wanted it done so we could take pictures with our new bear on her actual b-day, so off we went.

I don't know if you can see, but Ryan has his blanket shoved up in his sweater, "to keep it safe." He had me laughing so hard, looking like the hunchback.

We got to the store, and Ryan decided he needed a bear that would protect him from the invisible monsters that reside under his bed at night, forcing him to sleep with Mom and Dad in the middle of the night. Let's pray it works!

We picked out our special friends, a camo bear for Ryan, a bunny with great ears for Gracie. Gracie wanted each and every one, so Mom helped pick one. Then it was time to pick sounds. Gracie picked a giggle sound, and Ryan picked the roar, to scare the monsters of course.

Ryan picked his heart for his bear out, but wasn't overly impressed with making it 'special' .

Then it was Gracie's turn to 'stuff' her bunny. I helped her step on the peddle, but she enjoyed that once she figured it out.

Then she picked out her heart for her bunny....and then another and another....We finally settled on the 'best' one.

She gave it a big hug, warmed it up just so, and gave it a big kiss.

Now it was time to 'register' our new friends, so Mom did Gracie's, then Dad did Ryan's. Gracie's is named Bunny, Ryan's is named G.I. Joe.

We love our new bunny!

And now for Random Pics, here is Ryan and Gracie playing together. Ryan is actually playing and Gracie pretends, but they are definately playing better together. I LOVE it! Ryan has turned into such a good big brother. He's come a looong way from dumping her out of her bouncer at 1 wk old, thumping her on the head, etc.

This is what I get for taking a 5 minute shower all by myself. That is shredded paper all over the place. Thank you, Sweetheart, my floor needed to be cleaned anyway.

And this is Gracie with her swollen lip. I love how she shows it off! She has turned into such a ham!

Well, that's all for now. I am 32 wks pregnant today, and certainly feeling it. Breathing is a chore, walking is a chore, everything is a chore! I love feeling the baby move, but as I count down to delivery, I am more and more ready every day. We have finally picked out names as well. That has been a fight I never thought I'd have to such a degree! We have Lucas Aaron for a boy, Erica Lynn if its a dark haired girl, and Lily (not completely sure on middle name yet) if its a light haired girl. The light/dark thing is weird, I know, but it is how my mind works at the moment.

As far as 'feeling' what this one is, I swear its twin girls, or at least an asian girl, so its probably just one boy! My instincts and 'feelings' are always waaay off, so who knows. My butt says girl, my belly says boy, again, who knows! I just know, I'm ready to find out soon!

My head hurts

2010-01-17T08:14:00.002-06:00

I'm attempting to play the coupon game. But right now, when even breathing is difficult, this is proving above and beyond me right now. I will keep plugging away, I will keep clipping, I will keep on searching for my deal, but man my head hurts!

29 wks

2010-01-09T05:19:00.003-06:00

Hopefully soon, I will be able to sit down and actually update. For now, here is an updated belly pic for those that are needing to see! This pic was taken at 04:30 am, so just a little tired looking (what's new, right?), but don't I look good in the scrubs Poppy got me? Thank you so much! I love them.

Happy Birthday to ME!!

2009-11-03T19:54:00.006-06:00

So I write this the night before, contemplating where I've been for the past 31 years. I feel my baby moving, and I smile. I'm really doing good by this baby, I'm doing good for myself, I'm just plain doing better. I haven't smoked for almost 3 months. Not one. That's the longest I've gone since I picked them up over 10 years ago. While pregnant with Gracie and Ryan, I cut down drastically, but still smoked. Maybe not everyday, but I still did. That's not to say that I love this one more, but I just think my determination level is so much higher than before. I'm doing what I said I was going to do. It may not last, but it will for today. Today, I will not smoke.

(I love this pic with the baby having the hand on the head, like s/he is having a really bad day)

I went to my ultrasound appointment today, and saw my baby. Bill and I decided not to find out what we're having, and I actually kept my word. I turned my head when they were 'in the area'. I truly don't know what I'm having, and I'm thrilled! Anyone that knows me knows how weak I am when it comes to surprises. But I can't wait for this one! In my job, it is rare to have a 'surprise' baby, where no one in the room knows what we're about to have. And once the baby is born, to see that joy, ecstasy really, when the parents meet their baby, its wonderful. And then to see them overjoyed to finally meet their new son/daughter, and immediately know it was exactly what they always wanted. Even if one or the other parent was set on the opposite of what they just had, their mind's are immediately changed. What can be better than that?!!

(Cute feet, they were crossed at the ankles)

I am 19 weeks, and honestly, this pregnancy is flying by. Before I know it, I'll be holding this baby, and it will be just right. I know I'll be exhausted, and overwhelmed, and can't believe I ever thought it was hard with one, with two, etc. but we will adjust and love it all over again.
(This is me, holding Ryan and Gracie's pumpkins, at 18 wks. I sure feel bigger than I look!)

These last few weeks have been extremely trying, emotionally and physically, with Ryan being in the center of it all, I do believe. He is my first born, the love of my life, and I will go down fighting for him. But I didn't know how hard that fight would be. I cry for him, I question everything, and wonder if I am really doing the best for him. At the end of the day, all I can say I know for sure, I do what I do out of love. I love you with all my heart, Ryan, I hope you always know that.

Ryan started pre-K at the beginning of September. He is learning so much, he is so excited to go, he is enjoying his experience....for the most part. After 4 weeks of going, he had his first day of crying and not wanting to go. That was not Ryan. Of course there were days that he'd rather stay home, but in the end, he really did want to go. So to have him crying, all the way to the classroom and then some, that was the last straw for me. You see, he hadn't earned a good behavior sticker since the first day of school, and everyone else had. Every day. Every day, it was a list of Ryan's transgressions. He lost privaleges, had to go to bed early, etc.

Then he lost his self-esteem. After hearing over and over what a bad boy he was, I was done. The claws are coming out! I let him know over and over, even if he makes bad choices, he is still a wonderful boy, and I love him no matter what. That's when I went to his teacher and director and said, its time for him to have a good day. Find something positive and focus on that. Well, they did that, but each day, I still get a list of what he also did wrong. He has still not truly succeeded. I have a HUGE problem with that!! He's 4 years old!!! How bad can he truly be?!

I have requested a change in teacher, but they seem to be dragging their feet. Ultimatums are about to be done, and if not met, we will be finding a new school. He loves school, but I refuse for one teacher to ruin his self-esteem, no matter how much he loves his friends and loves learning.

Ryan, you will always be in my heart to stay, you're my family and I love you very much (to quote one of his favorite songs right now).

On another note for Ryan, he is eating vegetables!!!! He has been my picky eater, but he is in boot camp now. I am tired of fixing dinner, and then fixing his. I am tired of my son looking sickly and malnourished. He meets the weight requirement, but does not eat one vegetable, and only apples, grapes, and mandarin oranges for fruit. That is not adequate. Back to when I said I am more determined now, meeting my own goals, this is one of them. I am doing what I said I would do, no matter how difficult. Again, maybe I will fail, but I am doing my best right now. And I will be a worthy example for my children. See, Ryan, I eat my vegetables too!

Gracie has been doing very well. She is starting to talk, though we miss most of what she says. Very clearly, you can understand 'uh-oh', 'uh-huh', and 'wow', after that, it gets shady! She dances, she colors, and she makes me laugh everyday. The last few days, she has had rotavirus. High fever, nasty diarrhea (so glad I'm out of the first trimester, or I'd have to have a puke bucket with me), but she is eating well, she is drinking, and for her first illness in a loooong time, I'm not stressing it. She had her first cold shortly after Nancy and the boys came (miss you!), and now this, but she really has been doing soo much better!

I am soooo excited to see what will join us in our little family, what new challenges will arise. I may have a breakdown now and then (who doesn't, really?!!), but I am more ready than ever before.

As I age, I have become calmer (though still more hyper, adamant, strong willed than average), I do believe I roll with the punches better, and I am doing my best to be the best. To have a cleaner and more organized house. To have happy and healthy children. To love this life that I have been given and have chosen. I love all of you that help and support me in my journey. Thank you!

Good For ME!!

2009-09-25T09:45:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was the first day I never even thought of wanting or needing to smoke. That's a huge accomplishment for me, and I'm very proud of myself. I haven't smoked since August 12, and now its gotten much easier. Now if only I could maintain the walking goal I had set out for myself....

I've moved onto the 2nd trimester with ease. I am 14 wks, and have not had it bad at all. A handful of nauseated days, but mainly exhaustion/insomnia have been my main symptoms. All in all, a much easier pregnancy by far. I'm also starting to feel the baby, if only very slightly and only on rare occasion.

Ryan has had a rough week at preschool, having a hard time adjusting to classroom behaviour. Hopefully we will have all the kinks worked out soon, but this is why I chose to have him go to a preschool....to see how ready he would be for kindergarten. Its still a long way away, so we'll see what the future holds.

Gracie continues to do fine. No illnesses, no strange behaviour, no issues so far, aside from turning into a toddler. She has learned the art of antagonizing Ryan, and he is not liking it! I guess he's getting payback for all the times he tormented her. But man, the screaming! Can I go to timeout now?!

Surprise, surprise!

2009-08-19T12:24:00.002-05:00

Well, we are expecting our 3rd child, as most of you know by now. We are due March 28, 2010, which makes me 8 wks and 3 days today. We plan on being surprised and can't wait to see what we have. Ryan has named the child already....for a boy his name is Holard, and if its a girl, Tammy. Ok, probably not gonna use his choices. But we're excited none the less.

On another note (and surprise for me), I have not smoked for exactly 1 week today. And though I still want one, I am able to get passed it. I think I will always want one. But if I can power through, maybe I can do this. For those that have not smoked, I guess you can relate to anything else that you can't seem to do without, and then do without it. I LOVE smoking, always have, always will. But its not good for me, not good for babies, and VERY expensive.

2009-07-27T16:28:00.002-05:00

The Astros game was a ton of fun, even if we did lose sorely. We had sooo much fun!

For July 4th celebration, we went across the street and rode bikes and scooters and had tons of fun!

On a sad note, Gracie started a fever today. Mainly just blogging so I have a reference.

Gracie is a swimmer

2009-07-04T14:33:00.005-05:00

Gracie is already my little swimmer! She LOVES to go swimming, and will go under water by herself for 4-5 feet. The video shows it a little, but we had just gotten in the pool, and she wasn't quite ready for it. By the end of swimming, she was leaping away and diving under on her own. Ryan refused to swim without his float for me to show everybody, but hopefully we'll get it tomorrow.

Gracie Swimming from wmmiller74 on Vimeo.

Swimming lessons

2009-06-19T16:22:00.003-05:00

Betsy, this one's for you! Ryan enjoyed his swim lessons very much. Can't say he learned to swim, but he's certainly trying now. He even floated on his back without keeping his head up. Gracie is also quite the swimmer. She gets a big grin on her face every time she gets in the pool, and maintains it the whole time she's swimming.

I'll try to work on a longer post later, when I have something worthwhile to say.

Stupid, stupid, mommy brain

2009-06-16T14:32:00.003-05:00

I thought I was doing good. I got the kids bathed and got the marker off of them, both in coordinating clothes, shoes, cups, snacks, etc. I even got dressed and ready myself, not just my usual yoga pants and Bill's t-shirt. Went to the post office, mailed off my packages, got back in the truck, look at my feet and I'm wearing my SLIPPERS! I really thought I was doing good...

Too good to be true

2009-06-12T11:45:00.001-05:00

Gracie has a fever again. It got up to 102* and I went ahead and gave her motrin. She's right on target with her usual 2-3 weeks before another illness. Perhaps next time will be the time she remains well......

Update

2009-06-11T16:15:00.002-05:00

Well, about 9 days after our first appt. with the good eye DR, we got the 'all clear'. Gracie is 100% better, no problems at all! We have gone swimming, playing in the sprinkler, and in general, just reveling in the normalcy of our lives for a time. A week after her accident, she spiked a high fever (her typical 105.5*). She was already not eating or drinking well, and I had just about had it. I had a slight mental breakdown, the stress over constantly watching her and worrying got to me. I had a good cry, a good nap, and all was better. I should have updated long before now, but it just feels so good to be normal for a minute.

I look back on that period, and it feels like ages ago, even though its only a matter of weeks. I pray none of you ever have to go through that! But we all made it out ok, including Ryan. He is back to bugging Gracie every chance he gets, and she is back to adoring him. Though I have caught her 'crying' to get him in trouble because he wouldn't do what he wanted. Aahhh, she's growing up.

Ryan started swim lessons on Mon. He is thoroughly enjoying, thank goodness! Robyn, I feel ya on the pessimistic child! If its not Ryan's idea, or he really doesn't want to, then get ready for the mother load of tantrums. I was worried that he would refuse, and there goes the $$ down the drain.

For now, here's a silly pic of Gracie.

Lesson Learned: Part 2

2009-05-20T15:08:00.005-05:00

We got Ryan and Gracie up and ready to leave. Ryan was upset about having to go to school, and Gracie was crying, not opening her eyes. I gave Gracie some more pain medicine, put in her eyedrops with Bill's help. I snuggled Ryan for a few minutes while Bill was putting our bags and coffee in the car, then out the door we went.

We dropped Ryan off, and as we were driving away, I saw him in the rearview mirror. He just looked so sad. Ok, kid, that's enough with the heart string pullin' already! Bill and I drove separate so that if we got a good report, he would head on to work.

We find the place, and park. Now that is quite the feat for me, since I am driving the full sized truck downtown, and parking in a garage. Go me! We find the office with no problem, sign in and start filling out yet another mountain of paperwork for yet another Dr's office. I have to say, I'm getting pretty good at them.

Then the wait began. We got there at 10 and weren't seen until a little after 12. Thankfully, Gracie slept most of the time. When she did wake up a little, I was able to get her to finally drink. She hadn't had anything since the night before, and very little at that. She wasn't acting awake, but when I put the sippy cup in her hand she immediately grabbed it and drank the whole thing. I offered more, but she was done. That was a relief, since I had been wondering if we were going to be admitted since she wouldn't drink, and didn't want dehydration to be added to our list.

We finally saw the Dr a little after 12. He came in like we were there for just a routine check. Very layed back, no problem, don't see why everyone is anxious type attitude. We didn't click very well. He proceeds to examine her eyes. Bill and I have to hold her down. He does a very poor attempt to open her eyes, so I do that part too. He puts the dye in, checks with the blue light for about 10 seconds each eye, says, "Yup, looks good." and is done. Now, since I was the one prying her eyes open, I KNOW he didn't get a good look. He maybe saw a quarter of her eye. Then Bill asks what her prognosis is. Will she be able to see, will there be any problems with her vision if she can see? His response, "Yeah, she might be blind, or have problems, but there's no real way to check it yet. Can she read a chart and point to animals or colors?" Um, no, she's 15 months old. No genius child here, just a normal development girl. Nope, she can't read yet, can't talk in full sentences, should I be worried?!! (Read sarcasm).

About this point, I am completely done with this man. I know he has no clue what he's talking about, says since he can't check her eyes out better without putting her under general anesthesia that that's all he can do for today. See you next week. Yup, that's an appointment we will not be making.

So Bill heads off to work, I head home. I meet up with my friend Shannon on the way, and she spends a moment with Gracie. I tell her how upset I was with the care I received, so she starts calling her eye Dr to see where we should be referred. We parted ways with her awaiting a call back.

I call Heidi once again, and she is livid for me. Thank you, Heidi for all your hard work getting us through this! She starts calling around, and gets me a Dr at Baylor that is the creme de la creme for Gracie's problem. I call the office when I get home, and let them know the issues. They call back after checking the schedules, and I get an appointment for Tues. at 3:30, but was told that I was a work-in, and to expect a wait. No problem, I'm getting good at waiting.

That evening, Gracie opened her eyes, and actually played for a bit. She picked up a ball off the floor with a purpose, threw it, and went and retrieved it. SHE COULD SEE!!!! I called everyone under the sun, and grinned like a fool for the whole evening. My daughter really was blessed.

The next morning, Gracie was back to not wanting to play much. She had slept through the night (12 hrs) and had woken up in pain. I gave her pain medication, a little bit of pediasure, eye drops, and she went right back to bed. She only got up every 3-4 hrs, right about the time the medication was wearing off. That afternoon was her appointment, so we go, this time just me and Gracie. Bill had to work, and since Gracie had shown improvement, he was feeling a bit more reassured that everything really was fine. I was as well, but I wanted true reassurance that we were doing all we were supposed to do.

We get to the new Dr's office, fill out more paperwork, and proceed to wait. We got there about 3, and I had really expected to wait for quite some time. Gracie was doing her repeat of yesterday, and was ready to play. She put on quite a show for all the old people there, being cute as a button. They called us back right at 3:30. I was shocked. We went in and were greeted warmly by a couple of resident dr's. They assured me they wouldn't do the exam until Dr. Hammil was ready, and would do it in one fell swoop. The got Gracie's history, and a few minutes later Dr. Hammil came in. What a great man. He had a sense of humor without being arrogant, answered all my questions before I had time to ask them. He was wonderful. And by the way, he could tell that Gracie needed an immune system check up right away, a thing her pediatrician didn't pick up until I asked for it.

The exam wasn't fun, but it was worth it. She wasn't so much in pain, as scared. He opened her eyelids with a speculum that kept them open, and was able to truly assess her eye. While he was doing that, he had one of the residents checking the ingrediants of the spray that got in her eyes. I was told it was a peroxide burn, and while that is still bad, its not as bad as an alkaline burn that we were thinking she had. He told me that it was healing nicely (which I was able to see for myself, and could already see new growth to both eyes). He prescribed an ointment that has a steroid and antibiotic, instead of using the drops we were currently using. And he said she should make a full recovery and have no lasting vision problems.

What a relief! Today, she is playing a little better, but has still be really sleepy. Here is a video of how she typically plays right now. She keeps her eyes closed as much as possible until late afternoon when the sun is going down.

Gracie 05-20-09 from wmmiller74 on Vimeo.

We are both so grateful the prayers and concern shown by all our family and friends. We couldn't have made it through this without all of you. Your prayers have made Gracie a walking, seeing miracle, and we thank God everyday. We rejoice that she is getting better and cannot thank each and every one of you enough.

Lesson Learned: Part 1

2009-05-20T07:27:00.005-05:00

Its been a rather busy, crazy, stressful few days around here! It all started on Sunday. Here's the full version of what transpired, now that I can actually think a bit to write it all down.

I worked Saturday night, and got home Sun. morning about 7:15 am. I went to bed by about 8 and was sleeping soundly. About 12:00 that day, Ryan thought it was a good idea to climb up onto the dryer and get the Dreft laundry stain remover bottle down and squirt Gracie with it. Lots of fun, right? He proceeded to coat her entire head in the stuff. Gracie wasn't saying anything, no crying, and in general, just enjoying the fact that her brother wanted to play with her, as its not typically the case.

Bill walks in on them, and immediately takes Gracie to the bathtub and rinses her off. Since she's coated in it (sopping hair, face, etc.) this takes a little bit. After she's all cleaned up, she layed down for a nap.

She woke up about 2 pm and her eyes were swollen and she wouldn't open them. She just cried and cried. Bill went into our bathroom where all medications/supplies are at and was trying to look for any eyewash that he could use. Ryan was trying to 'help' but got kicked out of the bathroom. Ryan came crying to me, waking me up. No problem, its about time for me to get up anyway. I walk out to find Bill and see what the problem is. That's when I find Gracie all upset and swollen, and just not right.

I immediately start calling people. My first was to my sister Heidi, since she worked in an eye clinic for years, and knows alot about what I should do. No answer. Then my friend Shannon was called. No answer. Then I called my friend Rachael who is a nurse practitioner. No answer. Then I call my mother in law Sylvia to get her sister's number, since she is also a nurse practitioner. I was rather abrupt and to the point, got the number and hung up. Bless Sylvia, she didn't badger me at the time for more info, as at that time I'm still waking up, but trying to be coherant. I call Aunt Diann and no answer.

Shannon calls back, and says to call ER and see what I should do. I ask what she' s doing, and if she can watch Ryan if we go to the ER. She said she's got a few things to finish doing, but after that, she would be free. Fine. Thank you. (Understand, I'm still not freaking out, and don't consider this to be the emergency it really is yet).

I call Heidi again, still no answer. So I call Dad to get T.J.'s number so maybe I could get her that way. Dad asks what's going on, he gets a very abbreviated version like, "Gracie got sprayed with something, I need to see what to do".

I call T.J. and he immediately answers. I ask for Heidi and he tells me she's sleeping (bless her heart, I woke her up from a very deserved nap!). I start to tell him what's going on, he cuts me off and says, "Hold on, hold on, let me get her." I let her know what I know, that Gracie has been sprayed, her eyes are swollen and shut, and she just keeps crying. Heidi says to go to the ER. Its probably fine, but I need to go now. Thank you, Heidi for your help!

In the meantime, Bill wants to go to Walgreens to try and get some eyewash stuff. He gets in the truck and goes, now I have Gracie, who is continueing to cry, while I keep trying to make phone calls. I call the Dr's office, they tell me to call poison control and go to the ER. I call poison control, they tell me to go to the ER. OK, so now I KNOW I need to go to the ER.

I call Kingwood ER (where I work) to see if they can handle what we're coming in for (pediatric case involving the eyes). They say yes. I call my friend Demi who lives along the way we are going, but she is at the gym. Her husband Chris answers, I ask if he can watch Ryan while we're at the ER, he says no problem, bring him over. BLESS YOU!!! By the way, they have 3 kids of their own, ages 6, 3 almost 4, and 4 months. He's already got his hands full, but willingly takes my son.

So I quickly throw on some scrubs, brush my hair, pack up a bag for Gracie, grab Ryan's blanket, and out the door we go. On the way, Ryan asks me, "Mommy, are you happy for me?"

I question, "Am I happy for you?"

"Yes, are you happy for me."

I reply, "Well, no Son, I'm not happy, I'm sad. But I love you very much."

His little face crumbles and he starts to quietly cry. My heart breaks for him. My first thought is, I don't want him to shoulder the blame for what happened to Gracie. He can't possibly know that what he did would hurt her, he was just spraying, and though he knew he shouldn't and it wasn't water, he had no way of knowing that it wouldn't be 'like' water.

I reiterated over and over that I loved him, that he was going to have fun with his friends while Mommy and Daddy took Gracie to the Dr. By the time we got there, he was fine, went right in the house and started playing.

We arrived at the ER about 3:30-3:45, and were being seen by about 4-4:15. We got triaged and were quickly called back. Gracie was weighed, and it showed she had gained a whole pound! She was 19lbs, 8 oz! Yay for us! The Dr came in shortly after we got to the room, he had pH paper that he touched to her eyes, and it showed 9-10. Very bad. He checked the damage using some dye and a blue light, and says, "Oh wow, her cornea is completely gone.". Heart drop. The air in the room constricts. I'm trying to process this, but I'm having trouble wrapping my head around it.

He orders her eyes to be flush with a liter of fluid to each eye, under conscious sedation since she won't tolerate it any other way. The nurses start gathering things together, and they start the IV. Bill and I are holding her down for this, while she's screaming. They get it in, get one dose of the medication in to start to sedate her. Then they try to put in the lenses that will direct the flow for the flush to her eyes. Gracie screams, thrashes, and is obviously not sedated yet. She is being tortured. Bill and I both spoke up at that time, saying stop, she needs more medication. They get the Dr. , he orders one more dose.

Her IV stops working, and now they have to start it again. They get it in, finally, and give her another dose. She is finally manageable for the flushing, though she continues to scream, her thrashing is much more containable. It took over an hour to get it started from the time the Dr came in the room, till it was actually going. The whole time, Bill and I are trying not to lose it and start screaming at them. I'm thinking, its continuing to burn her eyes, there's already significant damage, HURRY UP ALREADY!!!!

In the midst of all this, I am getting various phone calls from concerned family/friends. I am sorry to all I talked to that I wasn't very coherant, but I talked to soooo many people, and between dealing with Gracie, and trying to relay our story, some people were lost along the way.

Since she was under conscious sedation, we were moved to a different trauma room. By now, Gracie was being managed by about 7-8 people, including anesthesia. We were told that the DR. had consulted the opthamalogist on call, and he recommended we be transferred to another facility downtown that would have the personell that could deal with our pediatric case. While waiting to be transferred, the Dr. checked her pH again, and it was still high, 8-9, so we did another liter to each eye, a total of 4 liters. Once that was done, the pH was checked again, and it was finally down to normal, a 7. So an ambulance was called, and off to Memorial Hermann downtown we go. I talked to Heidi right before the ambulance got there, and she prepared me for the possibility that Gracie might be blind. A very good possibility. I really hadn't considered this, so once again, big shocker.

I called Demi to let her know what was going on and to check on Ryan. I still didn't know when we would be able to get him, if we would be admitted over there, what we were going to do. Demi assured me that Ryan was fine, she just had an appointment the following morning, but until then, he was fine right where he was. I called Shannon to see what she could do, and she had to work Mon, but could drop Ryan off at his school. It was very hard to concentrate on making arrangements for him, when all I could think about was Gracie. I talked to Ryan for a minute, asking him how he was doing. He was having a great time, but he broke my heart when he asked, "Is Gracie gonna be ok?" I really didn't think he knew what was going on, but his little voice was so scared and tiny. I let him know everything was fine, and he went back to playing.

What a very surreal drive, riding in the ambulance. Gracie slept pretty much the whole way. Mom called me while I was riding, letting me know that everyone was praying for her, believing that a miracle was already taking place. I had a hard time concentrating on the conversation since the EMT person kept asking me for more info, and truth be told, I was just having a hard time in general processing everything. But I knew God was there, holding my Gracie.

We arrived at the next ER, and the DR on told us they had called for the opthamalagist on call to go ahead and come. There was nothing else to do but wait until then. By this time, Bill and I had had some time to process what was going on. I could tell he was having a very hard time with it. He blamed himself for it happening. He wasn't in the room. He didn't wash her enough. It was all his fault. I did my best to reassure that it was just an accident, and though we are both upset, it wasn't his fault. He couldn't hear me. All he heard was his guilt. We both had no idea that the spray could possibly blind her. We had no idea that we didn't rinse enough. We have learned a very valuable lesson, at a very steep cost. Soon we will be investing in a Hazmat cabinet that locks, since putting things up are not working.

Finally, the new Dr came, did a check of Gracie's eyes with more dye, and told us that yup, her corneas were completely gone, but it looked like there was enough stem cells around for regrowth. We were given antibiotic drops for her, and tylenol with codeine for the pain and sent home, to follow up in the morning.

By this time, it was 10pm and neither one of us had eaten, Bill not since breakfast. We called Demi to check on Ryan, who was sleeping, and let her know we would stop for food and be over. We dropped off Gracie's prescriptions, and went to get Ryan. He woke up, and just wanted me to hold him. No problem. I love you soooo much, Ryan! We picked up the prescriptions, and headed home. By the time we got inside, it was 11:30. We were all exhausted. I layed in bed with Gracie, Bill with Ryan. I couldn't shut my mind off. I kept replaying the day over and over in my head. Gracie would stir, and I would hold her and snuggle. About 1:30, she was fussing alot, so I gave her some tylenol with codeine. She finally fell asleep about 3, and finally I did too. I woke up at about 6 with my back killing me, and finally out of bed at 7 since there was no way I was going to get comfortably back to sleep. Bill was up as well, so we started getting ready for Gracie's follow up appointment.

Happy Birthday Jennie

2009-04-28T15:35:00.004-05:00

The boys. It was a little rowdy.

My SAVIOR! You held Gracie through all her crying. THANK YOU!!

Just a funny pic of Gracie. What kind of face is that?

Happy Cousins! Are they best cousins?!!

Happy Birthday, Jennie! These are the last pics I have of you (the last time I saw you). I love you.

Gracie's Bday (almost 3 months later)

2009-04-28T14:22:00.002-05:00

Ryan LOVED helping Gracie open her presents.

I think he was more excited than Gracie was, and that was VERY excited.

It was a wonderful day. Nuf said.

Oh, Ryan.....

2009-04-13T15:43:00.003-05:00

On a trip to the bathroom last night, Ryan got detered on the way back to bed by Mommy's mascara. He wanted to be as pretty as mama. Unfortunately, good intentions aside, this is a no no in our house. So his punishment was having his picture taken! Gotta love it.

Blue Bonnet Beauties

2009-04-11T11:38:00.005-05:00

We went Tues. to go visit the Blue Bonnets. There is a town about an hour away that has fields and fields of the Texas flowers, so being a true Texan, you must get your picture taken!

Ryan had fallen asleep on the way, so when we got there he was in his usual 'I just woke up, leave me alone' mood. Gotta love it! We drive forever and can't even get a good picture of him!

Gracie on the other hand, had sooooooo many good pictures! She's quite the little model.

The best time Ryan had was running with his friend, but as soon as he saw the camera, it was back to scowling. Oh well, maybe next year....

Gracie's Hospital Stay

2009-03-31T19:16:00.003-05:00

For those of you that don't know, Gracie spent 48 hrs in the hospital (Sun to Tue) with a staph infection (MRSA) that caused cellulitis (an infection of the surrounding fat tissue). Friday, she started with lowgrade fever around 100-101*, which for her is no big deal since she's reached 105.5* before. She had a little sore on her diaper area, right in the middle upper portion that broke open and oozed. I wasn't sure if she was teething or what, so we didn't worry too much. Then Sat. her fever went up to 103-104* and a sore spread to the right inner portion of her leg, right in the crease. It also broke open and oozed, so again, wasn't too worried since it was draining out the infection.

We got up Sun. thinking that it would be better. I got her in the tub around 9 am to soak in the tub with Epsom salt, and her thigh was all red and inflamed. That had me worried. I didn't know if she was starting to get septic (blood infection) or what, but I knew it was bad. We went to an urgent care center, where I started to fill out the paperwork. They couldn't verify my insurance, so they asked if I still wanted to be seen. I told them it was my daughter and why we were there. They had the Dr look at it real quick, before my paperwork was even done, and told us to go straight to the ER, it was more than they could do. So on to the hospital we went. We got there at 11 and was finally admitted and in our room at 3:30. Bill met us up there with Ryan and we got Gracie settled in.

Since I'm a nurse, they thought it would be no big deal for me to help hold Gracie down for an IV. Let me tell you, it was very hard to hold back the tears and not lose it! That was my baby screaming at me for the pain I was allowing to be caused. Horrible, gut wrenching sound.

Sunday, she pretty much just layed around and didn't do much. You could tell that she didn't feel very well. Once we were settled in the room, Ryan and I went home where I quickly packed a bag for us, then we went to Wal-Mart for our 'supplies'. This hospital has the worst food, exactly what you think of when they say 'hospital food'.

Ryan quickly helped us open it up and get right to it. After all, that's what we got it for, right?!

On Mon., Gracie no longer had to have the IV going all the time, so we were able to play just a bit better, and go for walks. She was feeling better, and wanted to MOVE! She was such a trooper through it all. At night is when I would lose it. She would fall asleep in the bed with me, naked so we could do warm compresses on her leg/groin, and I would cry and pray. Why is she so sick? What have I done to make her so ill? When can she finally go a month before a major illness?

3 weeks before this stay, she had pneumonia. Before that a random high temp. Before that a couple rounds of strep throat and a UTI. I am tired of her being sick and I'm sure she is too. She maintains a wonderful disposition through it all, smiling and laughing. But as a mother, I want to protect her, keep her from all the bad in the world. She is so little, and she shouldn't have to go through all of this so young. So for all my friends and family out there, please pray that my little girl will get better and stay that way.

I will update more as it comes (and hopefully get her birthday stuff up, maybe tomorrow). Sorry for the lack of updates, but with all the illnesses its been a bit much, especially the house cleaning that goes with each illness.

New Addition

2009-02-09T17:40:00.003-06:00

For those of you who haven't heard, we added a new puppy to the mix (crazy, I know)! Meet Lucy, the yellow lab. She is now about 11-12 wks, cute as can be, but definately all puppy. The kids absolutely love her, so we put up with the puppy antics because of it. And she has yet to growl or snip at the kids, and Gracie is just a little rough sometimes, so that's a good thing, I guess.

Bad puppy.....

Good puppy.....

We will eventually get this training thing down, but for now, its a little busy round here.

Happy Birthday Gracie!!!!

2009-02-04T16:33:00.004-06:00

I went a little crazy with pics, but Gracie, you are just too beautiful for words! I love you more and more every day.

You love to play patty cake and peek a boo, and you show it off to anyone at anytime.

You are sweet and wonderful. You make my day such a joy to share with you.

I LOVE your crazy sideways grin, showing off all 4 teeth! Makes me laugh everytime.

You are attempting to walk now, making it 7-10 steps before you get tripped up, or decide that crawling is faster.

In every way you are growing and learning, and letting me learn with you. I love you so much.

Winter Wonderland!!!

2008-12-10T21:54:00.003-06:00

It's SNOWING!!!! Sorry for the blurry pic, but this is me and Ryan catching snowflakes on our tongues.Ryan's first snow angel. His comment for all this snow is, "This is the most snow I have ever seen in my WHOLE life!" Oh, how quickly he forgot the FEET of snow in Wisconsin.

This is when we were getting our 'dusting'. Seriously, that's all we usually get. Do you see the difference on the truck?!! Tomorrow, when Gracie wakes up, it will be more pictures for sure.

Ryan even made his first snowman! (With the neighbor's help, of course). I'll get pics of that as well. But can you believe it?!! Its so much fun!

Bathtime fun

2008-11-19T13:28:00.002-06:00

Yes, I know that she isn't supposed to have the ball in her mouth (WARNING: potential choking hazard!), but it was left over from Brother, and it was too cute seeing her try to smile around that. Just too cute to pass up!

And she had so much fun with Ryan in the tub with her! Too bad he is still an only child that just happens to have a sister. She is like a piece of furniture in the room.....he knows she's there, occasionally he'll acknowledge her presence, but most often she is completely ignored. And that's hard to do with all the screaming and cooing going on from her. She lights up whenever he's in the room, all to no avail for him. Ahhh, maybe someday he'll understand that he has the greatest admirer in the world.

Happy Birthday to MEEEEEE!!!

2008-11-04T17:01:00.003-06:00

What a wonderful day it is! Today I turned 30. Some would say I am now old, others that I am finally an adult. I don't feel any older, but there you have it. It has been a day like any other, really, except Bill called in sick to work (he really is sick), and let me take a 3 hour nap! That was the best birthday present ever!

Ok, I haven't posted any pics after Hurricane Ike blew through, so I thought I'd get a few up.

We also went and saw the 'real' Thomas the tank engine! That was very exciting! Oh, and along the way, we had to stop and say hello to our old friend, Mater.

Halloween 2008!!!

2008-11-03T19:33:00.001-06:00

Enough said.

Gustav

2008-08-31T02:55:00.002-05:00

Seriously thinking of leaving town. I don't know if I want to weather out a category 4 or 5 hurricane with 2 small children, no power for 1-2wks. Arkansas is looking pretty good right about now. Anyone miss me up there?!! :)

Expert Jumper

2008-08-02T07:20:00.001-05:00

Jumpin' Gracie from wmmiller74 on Vimeo.

Sibling FUN!

2008-08-02T06:52:00.001-05:00

Ryan and Gracie, fun times! from wmmiller74 on Vimeo.

Did I get the 5 month pic?!!

2008-07-03T16:09:00.001-05:00

This last one I have cropped in Picasa, it just hasn't transferred over. What do you think? Do I need to keep trying?

Party time

2008-06-30T19:40:00.002-05:00

Spiderman has come to town! It was the best birthday ever! Ryan turned the big 3, and he is certainly more independent.

The cake was an absolute hit, and of course, we had to lick it, just to see if it was ok for everyone else.

He blew out the candle and was very proud of himself!

He had the best time playing with his best friend. Ryan played and played all day long, and had no problem going to sleep.

A new woman!

2008-06-26T12:08:00.003-05:00

Once again, I have the desperate urge to cut my hair post baby. Can't help it! I never fix my long hair anyway, and its all frazzled and split. So here comes the short! I am working my way to a very short haircut (Kate Gosslins' on Jon and Kate plus 8). So what do you think?!!

Oh, and Ryan has taken over all of Gracie's things. No seat is special, they are just new seats for him. Gotta love him!

4 month pic

2008-06-06T16:41:00.003-05:00

Isn't she cute?! Ryan needs a haircut, and then perhaps we can put his handsome pic up here too! He acts like a maniac with getting his hair cut, so we only go every 3-4 months as absolutely necessary. Poor boy.

Bum Genius AIO

2008-05-22T15:38:00.003-05:00

Not very different from the other, you just don't need a cover.

These are the best AIO (all in one) that I have found so far, but I don't mind the covers so much, so for a little less, I'll stick with fitted cloth diapers w/ covers.

Bamboo cloth diapers

2008-05-21T15:19:00.003-05:00

Without cover.....

With cover. A little bulky, but we have some

growing room.

OK, in my short experience thus far, I am loving my BumGenius Bamboo fitted cloth diapers the best. They are so soft and absorbent and have not had one leak yet with the cover on. I love it! Too bad these are also the most expensive. I am getting some more homemade fitted cloth diapers in the mail soon. We'll see how they do. More to come...

3 month pic

2008-05-16T08:22:00.003-05:00

I have been doing cloth diapers now for a full day, and my first impression is...I love it! I'm still figuring out which style works best for us, but more to come on that later.

Car Conversation

2008-05-09T21:46:00.002-05:00

We're driving home from playing at a friend's pool, and the following conversation occurs:

Me: Did you have fun playing, Ryan?

Ryan: Yeah...I got burps in my butt. (translation: I farted).

Go figure. He had me laughing, though trying to take it serious. After all, a bout of gas is no laughing matter.

Cloth diapers

2008-04-21T03:50:00.001-05:00

I am going to be giving cloth diapers a try. After browsing multiple sites and different types, I am really excited to see if they are as wonderful as the reviews say. I hope I can keep the smell to a minimum, and will be trying my own remedies instead of the odor control spray that they sell. Good luck to me!

Insomniac Musings

2008-04-07T18:01:00.003-05:00

Last night I watched a movie until about 12:30A.M. I had gotten into it, and couldn't just turn it off when Gracie went to sleep. So, after the movie, I was a bit wired, so I thought I would flip through the channels and see what else there was. Lo and Behold, one of my favorite movies of all time was on....Jack, starring Robin Williams. By the time I forced myself to turn off the TV, it was well after 2 am. But it got me to thinking...

I love my Dad so much. I know that seems random, but Robin Williams reminds me so much of Dad, in his mannerisms, his jokes, his voice impersonations. I had a nice little walk down memory lane, just thinking about how awesome my Dad is. Dad, I love you so much!

I've also noticed that at night, my list of to do's grows longer and longer, and seem possible to accomplish, until the morning when it is time to get up and actually do it, then the 3-4 hrs of sleep is not enough to do all that needs to be done. Perhaps soon, I will be on a good sleep cycle and can actually function outside of a cloud for awhile. Gracie is almost to the point of allowing me some sanity. For quite some time now, she has either been sleeping, eating, or screaming. She is slowly getting to where, when awake, I can actually get her to smile, as opposed to the constant screaming.

Isn't She Lovely?

2008-04-04T12:15:00.003-05:00

On the Road Again

2008-03-04T15:03:00.002-06:00

OK, for whatever reason, I find it necessary to travel during my maternity leave. I traveled to Heidi's in OKC, then to Betsy's in St. Louis with Ryan, and that was after traveling to Mom and Dad's for a little reunion. Well, this go around, I made it to Amarillo to see Jennie. Let me tell you, it is quite the trip! 2 kids in carseats + 650 miles= a big headache. I had dreaded the trip (not the arrival) for quite some time, and now that my visit is over, I dread the trip all over again. When I traveled with Ryan, I flew. And yes, that had its own headaches since NOBODY will help you with anything, such as open a door, give me a little more room, etc.

Anyway, I have had a great time seeing my sister and nephews. I can't believe how much the boys have grown! The next time I see Josh, he just might have a beard, and Jacob will of course be flying his F16 fighting falcon! Ok, maybe not flying, but certainly dreaming of it. Anyone who knows Jacob, knows his obsession with aircraft of any kind, but the F16 is a certain fave.

While here we had Gracie's 1 month pics done. I have to say, rather disappointed with the service and pics at Sears. After that experience, I went to Wal-Mart and had a much better experience. I actually got some cute pics. Not my favorite, but a definite improvement. It's just so hard at first to get that perfect pose. I probably will continue to try at home, but if I don't get one, at least I get a decent first on her month birthday.

2008-02-08T20:10:00.000-06:00

OK, so these pics are a little off, but you'll get the idea. This is Gracie after her first bath, and we are sunbathing to help with the yellow condition.

Ryan helped for the first time with Gracie by feeding her a bottle. He really doesn't want anything to do with her. Right now, she is fine if she stays away from him.

Yes, Betsy, we do headband bows for right now. There isn't enough hair to clip, and I don't have many little ones. It works for us, don't you think?

This is the day we had Gracie. Not very big I know, but man do I feel better now! We went in just because of a few contractions, but my doctor did not want me to labor at home since Gracie was breech, so she essentially had me come in and induce labor. I rather enjoyed that, since there was no rush, my pain was under control the whole time, and I found it just to be much calmer all around.

This is after we got back to the room and Gracie had had her bath. Ryan didn't care about Gracie, he just wanted to be next to me.

....And take over my bed.

Here we leave the hospital. I am so sad! I truly enjoyed the peace and quiet of staying there. Yes, the nurses and staff came in alot, but it's nothing like having a 2 yr old around! Plus, they had the best jacuzzi tubs ever. I think I took 15 baths in the 2 days I was there. It was blissfully wonderful!

Of course, as soon as we got home, we had to take another picture. I still can't believe she is here. I love her so much, and am enjoying getting to know her. She is already so different from Ryan. It remains to be seen if that is a good thing or a bad thing!

Welcome Gracie!

2008-02-05T14:24:00.000-06:00

I will post later the birth story, but here is our beautiful girl for all to see! She is 7lbs 2oz, 18.5 inches long, and wonderful.

Another belly shot

2008-01-26T15:03:00.000-06:00

I know I am not very big in the belly department, though it seems like it to me! I am nearing the end, but I am ready for it to be over. As of today, I am 37 wks and 3 days and Gracie remains breech. We tried to turn her on Wed (version, as the term is called), but it was a no go. Her but remained firmly in place. Now, we wait and see what happens. My doctor is pretty sure at this point that we could safely deliver breech, and I have full confidence in her. She is phenominal in her practice, but it is truly evidenced when things go wrong. I have never seen a more calm and confident physician when things are going horribly wrong. So, if she thinks we can deliver breech, we will try, knowing that if anything looks amiss, she will not hesitate to do a c/section if needed. Now, I do have updated belly pics, but they are on the new camera, which is packed away for the moment in hopes that we are headed to the hospital at any moment. Wishful thinking, I know, but a girl has to try!

The pic above is when I was 33 wks, standing with Bill's cousin, who is due on the same day as me. Freaky, huh?

Polar Express Update

2008-01-08T04:47:00.000-06:00

OK, so I am extremely late in posting this, but it was still so much fun! We got to ride the Polar Express train, and it was the best ever! Ryan was in complete awe of the steam engine, and he could barely take in all that was happening. We will definately be doing this again. On the way to the train, 'Mater was on the side of the road. Of course, we had to stop and take pics, like any stupid idiot would.

For Betsy and Heidi

2007-12-14T07:36:00.000-06:00

Betsy has requested a belly shot and Heidi has requested just a plain old update. So here you go guys! I am 30 wks in the picture.

Untitled from wmmiller74 on Vimeo.

Halloween fun

2007-11-02T10:10:00.000-05:00

Girls' Weekend

2007-10-14T19:59:00.001-05:00

Ok, so let me just say that I know I suck at this blogger thing. I did really good, and now it seems to be such a chore. It kinda is when it takes away from my sleep or relaxation time. Ryan does not play nicely alone for long, so work is where I am able to actually get time to write my thoughts. I just can't do pics this way. Oh well.

Anyway, I am very excited to say that my sister Betsy is going to host a wonderful baby shower for me! I guess I am still in shock that it could be a baby girl I am having (yes, its true for those of you who don't know already). Hence, the party at Betsy's. Anyone and everyone knows that if you have a girl, Betsy is the one to coordinate the hairbows with the outfits. So hopefully by the end of the shower I will have a plethora of cute little bows for my little Gracie Rae.

Not much else exciting has been happening, so perhaps in another month or two you will hear from us.

Best Seat in the House

2007-08-27T21:05:00.001-05:00

It's a boy!...maybe.

2007-08-25T23:41:00.000-05:00

Unofficially, we are having a boy. I went up to my old hospital and played with the ultrasound machine, and I am relatively confidant that I saw the male package. This has been what we have planned on since I have no boy name and only girl names. So if anyone has any boy names to throw our way, let me know!

Sty, my EYE!

2007-08-16T11:29:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I have had a little issue with my left eye. Started with the just the upper eyelid feeling inflamed, now the corner has taken on a new bump, right at the tear duct. So on Monday, I call my OB/GYN and see what I can do. Bad move. She orders me some ointment (that yes, is safe and is used for eye issues), however, it only made my problem worse quickly. So today I went to the eye doc, and the only availability was for an optometrist. I tried hard to see an opthamologist (did I spell that right?), and wasn't able to until Fri/most likely Monday. Couldn't wait that long. So he proceeds to tell me that I have a sty and not to worry. If I would like to wait it out, it would go away on its own, or he could get me some antibiotics. Antibiotics please! Oh, but check with the other doc first to make sure its good with the peanut. Sure, that's all handled, my eye still feels horrid, I look horrid, and I just don't believe him. Heidi, is he for real?!! And yes, I sure did question him since my entire eyelid is infected. Oh not to worry, chuckle, chuckle, its just part of what a sty is. Ok, so here's the pic. Yeah, I know I have ugly Betty eyebrows working it right now, but look past that. What ya think?

So now here are my boys, just because they are the cutest ever. This is at Nana's 84th birthday party, and Ryan did very well for a 3hr lunch. Part of the entertainment was flashing those cheesy grins at the camera.

Water fun

2007-08-13T11:36:00.000-05:00

Ryan has been having so much fun in his new house! We have a yard that we can actually play in! And because this is southern Texas in the throes of a scorching summer, we play in the water every time we go outside. While Memaw was here helping us get moved over, she found the coolest new water toy. It can entertain us for well over an hour at a time. I quickly learned to turn down the water pressure so when he decided to spray me, it wasn' t such a forceful blast. And when I decided to catch some of this on video, I learned to stay within the confines of the house, with the sliding door slightly ajar, so it could quickly be closed should the water suddenly need to come my way.

Thanks to Heidi, I have a new webpage, and am working on updating more faithfully. However,I still value my sleep as much as possible, so if it comes to updating or sleeping, I much prefer the sleeping. Yes, Heidi, I will try and be more diligent. But I can't promise much right now. But thank you so much for making my page pretty. And I am working on getting videos uploading, so check back later for those.

Birthday Recap

2007-07-11T02:33:00.001-05:00

Ok, so I am a little late in updating Ryan's festivities, but hey, better late than never. So for his birthday, the poor boy was too tired come party time to actually enjoy it, so he just went to sleep in his chair. The next day, we took him to the mall and let him ride the carousel with Daddy and play in the play area. That was fun for awhile, but then kids started showing up with balloons and we had to have a balloon for ourselves. So off to the mall we went, and lo and behold, there were TONS of them! After waiting a whole 5 minutes for someone to finally notice our intense yearning for a balloon, he was justly rewarded, and on our way we went. Then I had the grand idea to get his hair cut. I asked the lady if she was quick, and of course, she assured me she was and it would not be a problem. Well, 15 minutes of screaming agony later, and we had the worst professional haircut ever, but it was done. We tried to enjoy some more of the mall, but Ryan had hair itching him, so we went straight home to the bath and then to nap. When he woke up, he got to enjoy his presents and birthday cake (and let me tell you, he is still enjoying the cake. He wants it for breakfast every morning.). Then on Sunday, we went to see Grandpa and Grandma Miller. We had yet another cake, more presents and more fun than a little boy could ever hope for. All in all, it was a great weekend.

Baby News

2007-06-26T12:33:00.001-05:00

Ryan is going to be a big brother by February 12, 2008, but hopefully sooner than that. I thought I would wait a bit before I "came out of the closet", but I am already quite sick, and don't think I can keep a good pretense up. I am 7 weeks today, with 33 more to go. We are all very excited, but more than anything, I can't wait for this phase to pass and get on to the more enjoyable stages of pregnancy.

Just Because....

2007-06-16T05:03:00.000-05:00

I have not updated in quite some time. I see how pathetic I am as I am looking at past posts. It looks like my life was much more interesting at the start of this blog, but that is not necessarily true. It is more like writing it down has gotten to be such a drag that it doesn't happen as often. And the 'drag' part is more because Ryan screams at me if awake, and when he is asleep, I would rather read or sleep (my time!).

Anyway, I have been working at this hospital for 5 weeks or so, and now the contract will be ending soon. I don't really want to continue driving 45-60 min., but I hate to start all over again, learning a new hospital and such. Not anything major, but every little bit it is like a new job all over again.

Ryan has definately come into his own! He knows what he wants, and he either gets it himself (stack blocks, scale a couch, whatever) or he screams until eternity. The temper tantrums are the absolute worst. We are trying so hard not to give in to the screaming, but it is sure hard when it seems to last FOREVER!! I can't believe he will almost be 2.

And last but not least in our little lives, we are hopefully buying a house and selling our land. We have a bid on a house and waiting for acceptance, and we have an interested buyer for our land. I think our house will happen first, of course, but hopefully our land won't be too far behind. It will just be nice to be rid of the payments since we can't live there anyway.

So hopefully when I get home and have a few moments I will post a picture of my little sweet precious baby angel, but don't count on it. You are just getting this post because I am bored out of my mind at work.

Mom, I love You!

2007-06-01T05:55:00.000-05:00

My mother has been with me for the past month, and I have to say that I have loved it very much. I am going to sorely miss having my meals cooked for me, and my house cleaned, and my son cared for. It truly has been wonderful. I can't say that I have utilized her as much as I should have, but I sure did enjoy getting to be lazy! I could have gotten my picture albums updated, or perhaps keep up with this stupid blog, but no, I felt like reading or sleeping instead. I can't say I have really felt like blogging, and it is torture to keep going, but so enjoy reading others, that perhaps the mood will hit once again.

Other than that, life goes on.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BETSY!

2007-05-02T17:22:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Betsy, happy birthday to you!

A plethora of info..

2007-04-29T20:41:00.000-05:00

First, let me say a very enthusiastic HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JENNIE!!! Yes, I did call you, but it is not quite the same without the recognition on a blog. I love you and hope you had the best day ever.

So, for an update. Ryan and I are back home and now Bill is in New Jersey. We got to spend a week together before he had to leave. He will be back Friday, but it is still longer than I wanted. We were just getting comfortable, and there he goes. Anyway, its not like its all bad. My Mom came and saved the day! She is here with me now, taking care of Ryan. Well, not today. Today, she has the flu and has slept all day. For anyone that knows my mom, that is soooo not like her. I feel so bad for her and wish I could make her feel better, but there's not much I can do. As soon as she says she wants something, I get it, but its only been 7up and chicken noodle soup. No biggie.

Anyway, will try to update with more later.

American Idol

2007-03-24T07:04:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I have tried very hard to be as enthusiastic about American Idol this season as I was last. However, I still don't know most of the names and have been bored to TEARS! Lori has taped the episodes the last few weeks because I have been working. So I had a catch up night and watched them all. The only one I know by name is Sanjaya, and that is just because I am shocked with everyone else that he is still in. I was a fan at first, but come on, give him a few years to grow up, and then lets see him again. Right now is just torture. The only, ONLY, contestant I am rooting for is the be bop guy (yeah, don't even know his name, and don't care that much right now).

Ok, to everyone out there with a blog. I cannot comment. I try, it won't let me past the part where you sign in. It does not accept my sign in. So Heidi, I have seen your new page, and am wondering "Why do you need 2?" Betsy, Gwen is adorable and I can't wait to see her. Robyn, if after 5 comments, you haven't figured out everyone faithfully checks out your page, then you are obliviously living in your own world. I am ready for some news, and what happened with the stupid dentist?

Serious conversations with Dad

2007-03-11T23:56:00.000-05:00

Untitled on Vimeo

CABIN FEVER!!!

2007-03-11T08:09:00.000-05:00

I am so done with winter! Everyone else gets to brag about these wonderful walks in 70 degree temps and we're still stuck up here battling blizzards and more snow than I know what to do with! Yes, I know it was my choice and all that, but as this contract ends and I am STILL freezing my butt off, I think I have determined never to do another 13 week contract in the middle of winter so far north. This sucks. Mom did come to visit us, and brought much needed change to our very unchanging routine. Abby (mom's dog) was not a big hit as far as Ryan was concerned (and I am sure Abby agreed that Ryan was not her favorite either). Ryan enjoyed stomping on her and terrorizing her at every chance he got. In turn, Abby decided to growl and snip back. Therefore, instead of keeping Abby for the remainder of our stay, she was shipped back home. Sad for Lori, great for everyone else here.

We did finally get Mom to get out on the ice. She had vowed that it would never happen. Well, once you see cars and trucks driving on the ice, you can pretty much bet that the ice will hold your weight.

Niah, The Eternal Princess!

2007-02-19T23:15:00.000-06:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Baby Girl! I know you're not a baby any more, but I am soo proud of you! You are growing up into such a beautiful person. I love you very much, and miss you terribly. I hope you had a wonderful day.

Love, Aunt Marcie

Happy Birthday, NIAH! I am so proud to see that you have taken over pedicures for me. I think maybe I need one when I get back. What do you think? I know its your birthday and all, but maybe we could give each other one. I guess the next thing to learn is haircuts. How about you practice on your Mom, and then we'll perfect your technique on Kianna and Aliya. Anyway, enough about work. I love you and miss you. I am sad that I missed seeing you when you were there last. I can't wait to see you again, and I hope your day was great, just like you.

Love, Aunt Lori

To Daddy, with Love.

2007-02-19T17:48:00.000-06:00

kisses on Vimeo

Pics for Heidi

2007-02-19T17:12:00.000-06:00

OK, the first picture is right outside our room. The big cone is a ride where you shoot out the top and then slide up the sides until you get to the bottom and ride out the shoot at the bottom. Too cool! Then the big sun room is the wavepool, it was closed when I took the picture, but since it is enclosed in glass, you can tan year round if you want.

The bottom pictures are Ryan and me blowing up his sled. He had to help me, and then check it out as soon as possible.

Fun Times

2007-02-12T10:44:00.000-06:00

Daddy came to see us on Wed (feb 7), and left yesterday. We were so busy the whole time! It was wonderful to see him, and Ryan was in heaven. He just couldn't get enough of him. We went to this resort about an hour away from here because they had such an awesome winter deal. We got a hotel room plus the passes to the water park included in the price. And yes, it was all INDOORS!! It was so cool. Ryan was just pinging from area to area.

ICE!

2007-01-20T10:42:00.000-06:00

ICE FUN! on Vimeo

We had so much fun walking on the ice! Ryan fell down so many times, but he never got upset. He would just pick himself up (as best he could) and keep going. We will be going out again soon. This is the best!

Winter Wonderland.

2007-01-15T17:19:00.000-06:00

Ryan enjoyed his first snow adventure! He was not impressed with face full of snow at first, but then Aunt Lori showed us how fun it is to eat, and then it was not so bad.

Bathtime Fun

2007-01-15T16:51:00.000-06:00

Ryan was not impressed with shower we have here, so Lori and I decided on a tub. After a few attempts at getting him in it, it turns out it can be just as fun as a regular tub! We had to start out in the kitchen because the shower was just too tramatic. But as the fun wore on, we carted him to the shower to splash even more.

The last picture is of the ice breaking. We were debating on whether to test it out, since there were people out walking on it. We called Uncle Mike who informed us to wait a while longer. About an hour later, we see 2 huge cracks going from our property out to the middle (this is just one of those cracks). So we will continue to wait until we are sure that the ice is solid.

More Pictures

2007-01-07T13:45:00.000-06:00

Pictures

2007-01-07T13:17:00.000-06:00

Major Recap

2007-01-07T09:09:00.000-06:00

Ok, so we have been just a little busy. Christmas lasted for 3 days, visiting all our various friends and family. It was fun, but I am very glad it is over. Following Ryan around in different houses with all the new 'no,no's' was tiring! Ryan ended up with some very cool toys.

So now to the job front: I was to be in Alaska on 1/15, but after figuring out that they weren't going to pay quite what I had expected, it turned out the trip was not worth it once all of the expense for the trip was deducted. Therefore, we have ended up in Fox Lake, WI, 'we' being Ryan, Lori, and me. I got the call on tues. at 4:30 p.m. to pack my bags and be here for 1/8. Since I knew I was driving here, that was pretty much a last minute deal for me. I got new tires for the car, packed the bags, and gathered as much stuff as I could that would hopefully make our stay for the next 13 weeks as comfortable as possible. I was told that this was a fully furnished cottage I was going to, but what does 'fully furnished' really mean? For some, it is furniture and cooking utensils, but no bedding, cleaning supplies, etc. We had no idea what to expect. We packed a few things that were unnecessary, but not much. After unloading the cramped car, we found how little we really did bring. But I think it will work out nicely. I will hopefully post some pics later this afternoon so all can see. We are maybe 20 ft from the lake, with our bay window looking out to it. It is absolutely gorgeous! The only sad/good part is no snow. I am grateful I didn't have to drive in snow to get here, but I think it would be beautiful.

Now, to recap the journey here. Starting the night before I left home (tues night), Ryan did not sleep worth anything. So I began the drive on minimal sleep and a cranky kid. We had to go say goodbye to a couple friends and then up to Daddy's work for a last goodbye to him. Then on the road for many, many hours. We started about 10:45 a.m., and arrived at Betsy/Mom's at 8:40 p.m. Now, for those of you who have had the pleasure of traveling with small children, those hours seemed to last FOREVER! Ryan cried most of the trip, and there was no good place along the way to let him play and stretch his legs. I did the best I could at gas stations and what not, but suffice to say, its not the cleanest or most kid friendly environment. I tried hard to find a McDonald's with a play area, but to no avail. So by the time I got there, I was exhausted, my butt hurt, and I believe Ryan echoed those sentiments. Once there, I got to enjoy the new baby with Betsy, and help Betsy out as best I could. I don't think I did much for her, but I tried. Then the gang headed out thurs at 10:30 a.m. for the 12 hr trip up here to WI. After pulling out of the drive and going a whole 2 blocks, Marcie gets pulled over for speeding. Yes, that's right. 2 blocks, and the lights and whirring. The officer was nice, but I just knew a ticket was headed my way. I never get out of them. He informed me that I was going 36mph in a 25 mph zone. I had NO IDEA that it was 25!!! Its not like I was driving irresponsibly or anything. And I thought 35 or so was a good speed for the area. Guess not. I didn't end up with a ticket, thank goodness, and bless the officer that decided to have mercy on us before our trip even started. Ryan thankfully did much better for this trip. He took 2 naps and only fussed a couple of times right before we were going to stop anyway. In St. Louis we found a McDonald's with a play area that was a great break for us all. We finally made it up here around 11:30 p.m. and after some shady directions, found the house. Lori and I unloaded as quick as we could while Ryan slept, and then put a few things away before crashing ourselves. Yesterday was the eventful trip to Wal-Mart, buying everything but a kitchen sink! Ok, not really, but it wasn't quite as cheap as I would have liked. Today we go to find the hospital I will be at tomorrow. A little nervous about the new job, but I hope I can grow to like it, and enjoy our stay. Ryan and I both miss Daddy very much, but Aunt Lori is doing a good job of keeping us entertained. She's hilarious!

Ryan and his friend

2006-12-24T20:50:00.001-06:00

Ryan and his new friend on Vimeo

Life goes on

2006-12-05T15:50:00.000-06:00

I am jobless, and don't know when that might end. I am ready to work or commit to staying at home, but this limbo is killing me. So the big question: What do I want to do when I grow up?

Goodbye My Love

2006-11-20T07:53:00.000-06:00

So today begins the day that we say goodbye to bottles. I know he has been on the bottle longer than expected, but hey, to me he is still my baby. But now that he has started his temper tantrums and has shown that he can drink from a sippy cup, it is time to move on. Now that being said, though he can drink from a sippy cup, it does not mean we like it. So I foresee a long day ahead. Thus the reason I chose it to begin while Daddy was at work. I don't think he would be able to handle the constant screaming that I expect. He has been eating somewhat better. At least he is trying new foods, whether he truly eats them or not. Pray for us that all will be alive at the end of the day!

The drain of late nights

2006-11-18T07:42:00.000-06:00

OK, so this post is in response to Jennie's (my sister's) reaction to a serious comment made by me. It brought home to me how pathetic I am. Though I no longer require the 12 hours of sleep that I used to enjoy prior to Ryan, I do require at least 7-8 hours in order to be coherant.

Last night was a dinner engagement with my soon to be employer. I used to work with Marsha and she is wonderful. I can't wait to work under her and help her business grow. She is one of the few people that I highly respect in all aspects of her life. If she says she will do something, guess what, she actually does it! It will be quite a change from my last employer and I can't wait to get started.

Anyway, dinner was set for 6:30PM at Outback. Now, Bill and I don't take Ryan out to restaurants very often, and if we do, it is for 1 hour or less. So I knew much energy would be expended on keeping him occupied. I had a babysitter, but then learned that this was to be a 'family' event. So after I had finished cleaning the bathroom, I layed down to take a nap. Now here comes the comment to Jennie that made me sound so pathetic. "I had to take a nap if I'm going to be out till 8:30PM". Jennie had been expecting maybe 10 or 11PM, but no, I am pathetic and must be home before 9PM and tucked snuggly in bed. So let the laughing commense. I know I am pitiful. I have never been an early riser until my little alarm clock made me. Now my night life is seriously hindered. What's the point of a late night when I know I will pay for it dearly in the end?

Calling All Moms...

2006-11-10T06:49:00.000-06:00

I need help! My son is a very picky eater, hence the reason he is still on formula. Now at $25 a can, which is consumed each week, this is getting expensive. I need some ideas on how to get him to eat anything of nutritional value. I'm wondering about casseroles and breads and such that I can hide good food in. Here are his foods that he will eat: breads, cheese, yogurt, oatmeal, redbeans and rice, and meat.

Ok, so as you can see, we have carbs, some protein, and calcium. How about all the other vitamins and minerals? He is even somewhat picky with fresh fruit! I am thinking of doing a banana bread, zuccini bread, carrot cake, and my friend gave me some casseroles to try. I have spiced up Ryan's broccoli with cheese, seasoning, you name it, and he just throws it off his tray without even trying it.

PLEASE HELP!!!

Happy Birthday!

2006-11-04T11:51:00.000-06:00

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear meeee, happy birthday to me!

Mom Sucks!

2006-10-20T07:53:00.000-05:00

I am a horrible mother! My poor boy got over 10 mosquito bites after being in the car a whole 5 minutes. He never said a word. By the time I got to Laurie's (my friend's), the damage was done. As you can see, they look horrible. Thank goodness we no longer do monthly pictures.

ER

2006-10-14T01:36:00.000-05:00

Ryan...is...sick...AGAIN!!! Here we go again, once a month until he is 5! Tonight warrented a trip to the ER for a temp of 105.5*F. I did not realize it was that high until on the way home. Bill said he had taken it under the arm and the thermometer read 104.5*, so add the degree and there you go. Yes, I gave him motrin and waited 45 minutes, but it just climbed higher, peaking at 105.5*, up from 103.4*. We did the cool water bath, all the stupid stuff that I know to do as the emergency room personnel looked at me like I was stupid. Of course, when we got there his temp was down to 102.7* rectally, yes that's right, rectally. As I told the ER doctor, my one and only reason for bringing him in was my concern that his temp was climbing after motrin and I did not want him to start seizing. He then told me that I was underdosing him with the motrin and tylenol. Though he may know what he is talking about, I will first verify the information with my pediatrician before beginning it as practice. The boy has lived on motrin/tylenol, I am trying to save what little functioning liver he has left. The doctor was rather understanding with me, and told me I was right to bring him in for such a high temp. And my poor little boy, he had such a flushed face, and bright red ears. He just sat in Daddy's lap and whined. I don't blame him. With a temp that high, I'd probably do the same. Of course, as we were waiting to check out, he got his spunk back. Let's see: we see the doctor for 10 minutes, then get to wait for 1 1/2 hours, " to verify that the tylenol worked". As I told the nurse, he was not so flushed, he felt cooler, and he definately wanted to play...hence, all signs that we could go home NOW, and not have to listen to pukey man in the wheelchair heave his guts up anymore. She gave me the "you're so stupid" smile, and said that the tylenol couldn't possibly have worked after 45 minutes, let's just be patient. I was, I kept my mouth shut, especially since I was in my scrubs and had my badge on to go to work later (which is where I am at now). We got home at 9:30 pm, and Ryan did not want to go to bed. We gave him 15 minutes, he cried and cried, so we got him back up, and he was playing his little heart out when I left for work at 10:30pm. Definately past his bedtime, should not have so much energy since he didn't nap well, but his fever was gone. I mean, the boy felt good! He wanted to play! I know Daddy will watch over him tonight, but I sure wish I could be there. I want to make sure my Angel is all right. I mean, what if he needs ME? Oh, well. Maybe someone will leave me $8,700,000.00 like Izzy got on Grey's Anatomy. I think I could live with that, how about anyone else?

Showers optional

2006-10-11T10:40:00.000-05:00

I have hit a new low in life. I have found that showers are optional. You can take a bath, but a shower is not necessary. Now you might think that this would suffice in cleaning the important parts, but what about the hair? Its a good thing Ryan loves me regardless, and Bill has gotten good at tolerating me.

The opossum is back to visit me almost daily now. Our porch is its new home. I am rather disgusted with this whole thing. Bill, being the strong man that he is, chased him off the porch and came back to profess the pest "would definately not be bothering us any more." Five minutes later, our guest/roommate is back. So much for loud scary noises. Ok, so that makes a bb gun and noises moot, now what? I don't believe I need to buy a real gun just because. Not until we have a safe place to house it anyway. So now our porch is off limits when the sun goes down.

Halloween is upon us!

2006-09-27T17:02:00.000-05:00

Yoda on Vimeo

Explanation of pictures...

2006-09-18T03:29:00.000-05:00

Okay, the first few pictures are of Ryan's official first haircut at a salon. The woman cutting his hair is Carolina, the woman who has been cutting Bill's hair since he was about 14. And true to Ryan form, he wasn't impressed with the whole experience. I am going to try really hard to convince Bill that next time we will just buzz it ourselves unless we have pictures to be taken. Its not like Ryan has that much hair anyway, poor boy. He is working on it, but the top is still just a little thin.

The next 2 pictures of Ryan in the filing cabinet are priceless to me! We have made that cabinet into a toy bin, since anything we put in there was subsequently dragged out anyway. Of course, he likes to climb in on occasion, and as seen, once in awhile gets stuck. I can't help but laugh since his first reaction is to scream when he can't figure it out. He is not seriously stuck or injured, but instead of taking 2 seconds to figure out his predicament, he'd rather scream and get us to help him immediatly if not sooner.

The last picture is my sexy boy striking a pose. I was actually getting a picture of the too short pajama pants, and he just posed so wonderfully! For those of you who saw the show "So You Think You Can Dance" people that really couldn't, he is my "Sex", named after a guy who thought he was wonderful, but truly was not, and then had his MOTHER defend him. Now, I'm not saying Ryan is dorky and in need of my defense, but he sure has the comedy relief part down.

Picture update

2006-09-18T03:21:00.000-05:00